OPAL Online Module: Basic Counselling Skills - Some Key Takeaways

Module 1

Part 1: Myths & Facts about Counselling

• Counselling is a process to build one's resilence (as the end product, hopefully!)
• It's not a quick fixed to issues, but a means to enable one to learn what it is through (probably) seeing it more clearly (some analysis) in a more objective manner(?) hence knowing where the issue lies. With this heightened self-awareness (and maybe then can feel the reality ground), one is guided through find means to manage it.

Part 2: Role of Teacher

It's about creating the psychological safety net

• Being "trusted" is not a given, but it's built through actions when students now feel safe and comfortable to share and disclose, to open their 'doors'. It also enables us, teachers, to be able to detect potential issues earlier, hence addressing it before it aggravates. 
• Being a trusted does not mean hold info in total confidentiality but being able to discern when it has to be disclosed for the student's (or others') safety and well being.

Module 2 Attending Skills

• Non-verbal attending skills - body language matters and helps to (create the) bridge to the conversation
• SOLER
• Sit squarely to show that we are giving attention to the student
• Open posture shows care and the want to help
• Lean forward to show interested; which also helps us listen more attentively
• Eye contact to show we are listening, but also to notice any non-verbal cues from the students
• Relaxed to reduce students' anxiety and fear

Module 3 Clarification and Open/ Closed-ended Questions

To gain better understanding of the concerns and issues

• CROPS
• Clarify to prevent judgement or making wrong conclusions
• Reflection of feelings
• Ask both open and closed questions. 
• Closed questions help to obtain facts quickly but should not be too many, else it prevents students from thinking and talking
• Open questions get students to talk and give details of their stories
• Paraphrase to check for understanding
• Summarise

Module 4 Reflection of Feelings

It is about the teacher paying attention and listen attentively to the emotion and what the student has expressed - giving the student the observation to help student to focus on the issues surfaced.

• Give silence time for student to process and express (emotional release)
• Do not offer advice

Module 5 Paraphrasing

It shows that one is listening and helps students to know that he/ she has been heard; and it allows continuation of the flow of thoughts. 

• It focuses on re-stating the content, what's being said. 
• It is important not to add own viewpoint. 
• One should also avoid coming in too early, to avoid judgement 

Module 6 Summarising

It gives students assurance that the teacher has been listening and have a clear and better understanding of the 'story' in an organised way.

• Focus on the main points shared
• Do not add own viewpoints
• Check for accuracies - do not assume what's shared is accurate
• It helps to close the session - summary can be done by either teacher or student

Module 7 Problem Solving Model PADI

• PADI model
• Problem Definition - help student to identify and focus on one problem to work on (do not propose/ select on behalf)
• Attempted Solutions - listen to what has been tried
• Desired Change - get student to establish a goal 
• Intervention Plan - work out a plan that one can work on to deal with the issue; starting with something that can do right from the start (small milestones may help)

Reading: (Twin pack) (1) The Dot (2) Ish

Another set of "twin" books - both stories are linked though similar yet different. 

From "the dot" - it reminds us the feedback we give matters... but it definitely does though may not always. On the other hand, it depends who gives the feedback. For the young ones, the significant ones those whom they spend most time with, not just parents, but also their teachers. The acknowledgement, the criticism from any of these significant ones matters a lot to them. It frames their mental models of things, even their own self-worth.

Through this heartwarming story, the teacher's creative response sent an encouraging push towards developing greater confidence because her acknowledgement changes his negative self-perception. 

The positive push encourages him to hone his skills and perspective, and creativity! More importantly, he learnt (through his teacher) and applied (his experience) to others who needed that magically tweak to their perspective. 

In "Ish", it illustrates how, a small discouraging remark or criticism could be detrimental, and even destroy. However, it also reminds one not to be too tunnel vision and think it's the end! Look around... while most people may not appreciate or agree...  look out for the one (among many) who may share the same view and appreciate what one does. Well, if you think what's seemingly of no value is appreciated by someone, would you want to give up? 

... food for thought.... 

Margaret Heffernan: Why it's time to forget the pecking order at work

LINK to clip

Key Practical Takeaway: Social Capital takes time to build - it compounds over time, it builds trust and value. all these come with consistency in the way we demonstrate and exhibit our beliefs and values. 

TIM MINCHIN: 9 Life Lessons

Direct LINK

What I heard, What I think, and what I resonate with...

A Paradigm Shift... (again? continues?)

"school (textbooks) as our world" to "the world as our school" is not new to us... vaguely, started when technology was introduced to schools, i.e. when the ICT Masterplan embarked its journey in Singapore schools, through ICT mp1, mp2, mp3.... hm... mp4(?) which I lost count... or perhaps it has seamlessly transited from one to another with a lesser and lesser distinctive difference... and today, we are talking about PDLP, SLS framework.

My world... as a teenager comes from the textbook, from the teachers (and probably sometimes, the television and the radio). They shaped my world view. I am grateful, as the years passed, with technology, mankind has become more aware of the world, As people become more affluent - we touched base with the world through technology, through travel. It progressed from "school (textbooks)" to "mode that connects us to the world" that shaped our world. 

Am also grateful that I had chosen the teaching profession, having the privilege to be the first to see, feel and contribute to the transition... bringing the world to our learners! The generations (since the birth of technology) no longer have their world view shaped by the books/ teachers, but through first hand personal experience. 

How do we leverage the "world as our school"? What are the affordances we can draw out from the "world"? What kind of "experience"? How do we leverage this "world" to become the environment that our learner interact to gain new knowledge/ skills and deepen their understanding.

The lowest level, probably is about awareness - the "world" broadens our horizon, our awareness so that we are no longer limited and work within our myopic version. That was mp1 attempted to achieve, still today, it is among what we do. This would never be outdated. But this is not enough. SAMR arrived, though it appeared differently in our context, but that was what we used as a guide, to gauge our progress... and today, it's about being immersive, being part of the environment and being able to interact with the environment, to learn through what the environment can provide - not just with technology, but virtually or blended. 

a slide shared by Dr Hang (see earlier post)

20230930《如何在 STEM 科目運用 See Think Wonder 思考法》

Attended the webinar on a Saturday morning - a critical skill in the current landscape, that distinguishes one - through one's ability to think and extend. Dr Hang Kim Hoo (the founding principal of NUS Maths and Science School) has articulated how powerful this skill could be! and he illustrated with several very relatable examples and bringing in his own experience - that made it so easy for one to just follow his think-aloud - he was actually role modelling how we could do this "see-think-wonder", which he emphasises the questions to ask - how wide and broad, or how refined and specialised they could be. 

This approach could benefit each individual at differing degrees - also depends on how far and how comfortable one is ready to wonder out of their expert area (or comfort zone). 

Below are 2 example that I attempt to put together after the session, using some of the pointers he shared, and some thoughts I had: 

Example (1) ChatGPT: 

Through his illustration, what I gathered is, depending on how ready we are (in terms of curiosity) and the extent we frame our parameter to wonder - that would determine the types of questions we ask. In other words, the kind of questions we ask would be a reflection of the "pre-requisites" that we have. Hence, we will need to work hard enough to venture beyond and have the courage to ask and tread into unfamiliar grounds - this in turn could encourage greater curiosity that pushes us further.

Example (2) Pre-Fabrication 

I like this example and think it demonstrates how powerful a trigger (i.e. image, scenario) could be, when well selected. In this example, it demonstrates how wide the scope questions can go... treading into several subject disciplines, creating opportunities to promote deep discussions or research.

Tapping on what Dr Hang has shared, I extended and made some linkages as shown (in green). Have also came up with some thoughts (in purple).

Though Dr Hang organised the following points as potential benefits, I feel that the first 2 bullet points are the 'enablers' to develop's one's ability to see-think-wonder - it is a continual effort, self-driven, the urge and willingness to practise. Whereas, the next 2 posts are the outcomes that we would be able to demonstrate when we have "internalise" these practices. 

[Exhibition] Now is not the time

Visited the exhibition on 11 September - Teachers' Day.

My first 'participation' in this commemoration of LKY's 100th anniversary. The secondary intent was really to find out what are some of the AR features/ installations that it mentioned in the website. Have learnt something useful - for both intentions :)

Had a good break and some fun... that breaks the monotonous routine in this September, the one and only one day that has little link to work.

Direct LINK

READING: I Wish You More... Amy Krouse Rosenthal & Tom Lichtenheld

Like this book with only 13 pairs of beautifully drawn pictures that convey words that weigh tonnes into a simple warm touch to the heart. Sincere wishes for people we love... and wishing them the best... 

Have picked this book for my team this year. From the bottom of my heart, I truly wish... they have learnt that they have grown... over the times, through the ups and downs, the new tasks and challenges, and each accumulate to make their journey an even more a fruitful and enriching one. I hope these experiences would lift them up... more ups than downs... and each piece of experience is a treasure that they would value and could bring with them. I wish this book will bring more smiles to their faces. Smiles of confidence and fulfilment gained through their journey. 

 

READING: Reflection - Beyond the Horizon... with the Cat & the Tortoise (Christoper Stokes)

It's about an adventure... that describes what many of us would have been through, in our life journey. I would probably unable to connect to it as much as I do today, if I had read this book many years back, with little written on my life journey yet, then. Some things resonates with me... as part of my personal experience. That also explains why this series of books appeals to me. 

2 characters - one that's curious and would like to see what's out there, but seeking company to go with. One that seems pretty happy with the status quo... "would like to stay at home" nevertheless, won't mind to go along with a bit of encouragement or something to 'lure' it out of the shell. That sounds familiar... haha... that's me????? (haha...)

Nevertheless, I took the courage to moved out of my shell - at least a brave move in my early 30s, when I felt I could possibly take a step to walk into an unknown world - it was indeed a test! I fully agree with the cat "... the most wonderful things happen during adventures... if only we were brave enough to take the first step" If not because of my Bhutan adventure, looking back... my life could be more monotonous, not just the narrative, but also my perspectives. 

I like what the cat has rightly described "Bravery comes in all sizes" when the tortoise thinks his small steps limits the magnitude. This sounds common, right? Sometimes, we are limited by what we thought we are or we could do, and as a result, we decided that we are not good enough to take the first step. "(Bravery) isn't the size of your stride that matters... but the size of your heart."

What lies beyond the Horizon? It's too foggy to see where we're going - This sounds familiar? Definitely, when we reach a point not knowing how to progress, especially after reaching a milestone and remain at a plateau for a while. Uncertainty. Doubt. Worry.... Now, who's the cat? Who's the tortoise? 

I saw myself being the tortoise, and I'm grateful to meet cats along my journey, that have been me the courage and confidence to move through my journey that enables me to play the cat role sometimes. 

The greatest encouragement that comes from the cat when we meet the fog... "That happens sometimes but if we wait long enough for it to lift, a bright new world will be revealed."

What's important, too: focus on the journey rather than the length of the road

Another important learning point is, one has to acknowledge that to move towards attaining goals, being an independent individual is not enough, but recognise that individuals are inter-dependent - to leverage the strengths of a community to work towards a common goal. Do not be afraid to ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness. It's when we acknowledge how we could leverage others to move forward.

• "That tree is far too tall for me... can I climb on your back?"
• "sometimes apples are out of reach, until we ask for help."
• "I don't like asking for help... I'm usually not brave enough"
• "But sometimes, asking for help is the bravest thing you can do"

The courage and brevity of the leader - the ability to see possibilities when one is confronted with uncertainties

• "... you sounded very uncertain." 
• "I am... but with an uncertain future... comes infinite possibilities"

"The bravest thing a tired mind can do... is walk up." - resilience, perseverance.

"The ability to talk does not make you wise... it's the ability to listen... " - need to read deeper into this.  While the ability to talk does not make one wise, but being able to articulate the helps one to clarify what's in the mind and try to make sense and linkages to what we know or heard. 

One lesson from the beaver: what happens tomorrow is determined by what we do today - that says we should not procrastinate. It's not just about procrastinating, but it's about getting the piece of work done properly. There were occasions when we thought a mediocre piece of work is fine, without paying attention to the details and its impact due to this medium effort. Sometimes it may not haunt us till one or two years later when we are confronted with the situation that could be avoid if we could have done more. A life lesson learnt - not just personal, but also saw how others suffer in their own Do not shortcut! Karma is real! 

"Give someone your time, is often the greatest gift you can give" - fully agree with this. Being attentive and listen when the heart. The one who speaks would be able to feel and sense it. It is the most sincere way to connect with someone. 

Sometimes, the progress may seem very slow, almost negligible and unnoticeable. But, be grateful and appreciate it is not a stand still. There is hope! - from the analogy - filling (the bucket) one drop at a time. 

"Even the mightiest trees can be broken down by the wind... but being broken doesn't mean it's the end." It's an important reminder to us 花无百日红, which we need to accept the fact that one may not remain at its prime all the time, but need to have the courage to admit and live through the downtimes, too. There's always some silver lining for a come back 柳暗花明又一村. 

Along the journey, when we encounter difficult situations, we tend to cling on to the safety net when it gives us a sense of security and comfort (in the story, when the tortoise caught hold of the branch that brought it through the danger to safety - "I feel much safer if I stayed here"). Nevertheless, we'll need to be mindful that sometimes this could be a barrier to us - "we should always let go things that are holding us back"

"... the only way to reach the horizon is by carrying on, even when we feel like giving up" - be focused, be determined, persevere. 

Something heartwarming...

• "I'm glad I came with you." said the tortoise
• "And I'm glad you came with me." replied the cat.

"... flying looks easier than climbing." said the cat. "only because you've never flown" replied the butterfly - this sounds familiar? It's similar to saying the grass is greener at the other side. Right?

 

READING: Reflection - Searching for Purpose...with Father Christmas & the Snowman (Christoper Stokes)

This is the 3rd book by the same author. 

The story brings us through the journey on how to see our purpose of life, in particular, through helping others. It's a simple story.

It focuses on the "how" - to learn our own's worth through looking inward and learn what we can do, from which, hence the value proposition that we could offer to others. Despite sometimes, we may lost an arm or leg, in exchange the impact this offer could make such a difference that could be intangible (e.g. happiness), which we might not have imagined. 

Like other stories (from the same author), the story begins with a character that's pretty lost - in this case, the snowman, who is also filled with wonder and fear, wondering the purpose of (its) life, and the fear of melting... focusing on something that one could not do anything... 

There are some comforting dialogue moments that make me ponder a while:

• When the snowman commented "But ice and snow are cold... why do I feel so warm?" and Father Christmas' replied "Because you are special... because you were also made with love"
• "Because it is easy to be kind... kind people are the best kind of people." said Christmas Father
• "One candle alone may not be bright enough... but many small things together can make a big difference" explained Christmas Father on why the candle lights held by the carol singers could guide us through the storm.
• "A dying candle is no cause for concern... so long as you have a spark do reignite the flame" 
• "A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle"
• "One of the greatest joys in life is being able to lift others up, and share our happiness," replied the fairy when she offers to lift the snowman to the top of the Christmas tree.
• "It is in the greyest skies that we can truly appreciate the beauty of the snowflake"
• "I get just as much happiness from giving, as I do from receiving" said the Christmas Fairy
• "Christmas should be about the time we spend... and not how much we spend" a wise comment from Father Christmas
• It was quite heart warming when the snowman offers the reindeer his carrot nose and commented, "I don't have much to give... but Christmas has taught me that you don't have to be rich to be generous"

Some important sayings (lifted from the story) - wise words from "Father Christmas":

1. Helping those in need is the most precious gift of all
2. Sometimes even those who we love must leave us... because the love they once gave you, will never leave you
3. Stop worrying about what is to come, and focus on what we have now
4. Focus on what makes you happy, rather than what you fear
5. Life is shorter than we'd like but it's what we do with the time we have, and not the amount of it that truly maters (i.e. when the snowman expressed the fear of melting.) 
6. Being brave enough to try something new is the only way of knowing (i.e. when the snowman was encouraged to try the candy which it had never tasted before, and it discovered it like candy very much - no regrets for trying!) 
7. We can't prevent change... but can learn to adapt to it
8. A strong heart and a determined mind can make anything happen
9. If we encourage ourselves not to give up, the toughest times have a way of leading us to the best moments
10. It's usually once we've lost something, that we appreciate how important it was
11. Spend your time doing something rather than wishing you were doing something
12. One of the greatest joys in life, is found in the discovery of who we are
13. Sometimes, even the wrong track can lead us to the right place (i.e. when the snowman wondered what if they board the wrong track)
14. Good things often take time (when both board a slow train where they could admire what they see along the way)
15. Being kind should be everyone's purpose
16. Being hopeful is often the best way of finding clarity

"I think I am here to be kind... and I am here to be hopeful... and I am here to be happy."

"Your purpose is a gift"

Having read all three books by the same author, it's interesting to see how 2 characters could have just narrated some simple yet deep values of life - with one who's wise and one who wonders...